...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
