It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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