Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
