eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
