i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize