Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i barfeds in our rink
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I want her autograph on my taint
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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