i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
