We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
