I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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