My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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