I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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