Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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