If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
