and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
