you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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