He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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