I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
