New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
