theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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