Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
