it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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