i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
