Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
