Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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