My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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