I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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