I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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