he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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