did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
