Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
These tits shall not be calmed
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
