And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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