WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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