I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
