One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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