Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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