just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
