im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
