he was CRYING into my vagina
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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