she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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