Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I want to make a zoo with you.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
