I hate all girls vehemently.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
