I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
