He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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