If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
