At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
