Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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