im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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