She said her name was "party"
i think my mom watched the whole time
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
