Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
