i was born a porn star she said
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
