are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
