no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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