I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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