Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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