ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
