I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
