Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
