brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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