I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize