I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
