Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I would ride that face into the sunset
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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